I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Randomize
