okay pat passed out under dana's car
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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