Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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