You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fill condoms, not promises.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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