I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
