Welp...herpes.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
