I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
