I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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