So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize