True but thats because hes a fetus.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
