there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
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