If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
