I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
i dont even know how to be here
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
