I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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