I love you!
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect