i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
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Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
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I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed