Texts From Last Night

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  (512): View more from Texas

  did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.

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  (512): did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training. http://tfl.nu/gmkx
  Replies (50) Good night (3339) Bad night (1052)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  yea ive hooked up with like half those guys

  (1-440): View more from Ohio

  and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag

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  (440): yea ive hooked up with like half those guys (1-440): and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag http://tfl.nu/9hzs
  Replies (33) Good night (6848) Bad night (1010)
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  (+90): View more from Turkey

  Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university

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  (+90): Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university http://tfl.nu/62fc
  Replies (34) Good night (2994) Bad night (635)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework

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  (216): whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework http://tfl.nu/56zr
  Replies (30) Good night (5880) Bad night (822)
• Favorite

  (810): View more from Michigan

  during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"

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  (810): during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer" http://tfl.nu/avyg
  Replies (15) Good night (2966) Bad night (1531)
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  (310): View more from California

  I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear

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  (310): I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear http://tfl.nu/97on
  Replies (6) Good night (2142) Bad night (1467)
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  (224): View more from Illinois

  Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.

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  (224): Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test. http://tfl.nu/65e0
  Replies (10) Good night (698) Bad night (1235)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?

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  (303): My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right? http://tfl.nu/xxfc
  Replies (4) Good night (1277) Bad night (665)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.

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  (412): I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause. http://tfl.nu/76t1
  Replies (3) Good night (1447) Bad night (564)
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  (845): View more from New York

  I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.

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  (845): I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this. http://tfl.nu/z7id
  Replies (3) Good night (673) Bad night (378)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.

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  (202): Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now. http://tfl.nu/7dy9
  Replies (2) Good night (916) Bad night (368)
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  (716): View more from New York

  she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world

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  (716): she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world http://tfl.nu/4gui
  Replies (5) Good night (849) Bad night (366)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  WHAT IS HAPPENING

  (1-724): View more from Pennsylvania

  A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.

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  (724): WHAT IS HAPPENING (1-724): A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US. http://tfl.nu/lbg7
  Replies (6) Good night (815) Bad night (342)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.

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  (206): You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you. http://tfl.nu/wj40
  Replies (0) Good night (370) Bad night (132)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices

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  (519): He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices http://tfl.nu/4vlb
  Replies (0) Good night (137) Bad night (231)

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