it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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