I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
MIDGETS
????
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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