I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Randomize
