im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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