***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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