I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I puked a lego.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
