Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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