Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Randomize
