i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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