apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
