i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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