it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
