if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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