she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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