i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
