Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
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