two words: eviction party
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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