11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
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Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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