please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
