ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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