Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Randomize
