If that was your dad, he is hot
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
