She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
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