I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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