make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
