sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
