So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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