it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
