I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
