So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
