Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
