Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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