This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
