i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
