I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
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