it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Randomize
