You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Randomize
