guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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