My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
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