Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
